Xtinguish.

Alfred Lord Tennyson once wrote

"'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."

Obviously Mr. Tennyson has never loved. For him to think that the aftermath of love is worth the actual experience, means he must of been a masochist and personally, I would never take advice from someone of that nature.

Good God, what is my problem? How is it, that when I get exactly what I want, I can't handle it? Maybe I'm a masochist....Maybe, I think that good things just aren't meant to happen to me. You know, I think I'm not mature or strong enough to handle the present. I'm so frightened by living, by feeling and by becoming attached to any moment or any emotion. So, I avoid the present by constantly living in the past or waiting for the future.

A good friend (in fact a best friend), told me that the 'future' was the loneliest of all time. The 'past' has had it's time and remains always and forever concrete in it's occurrence, and the 'present' embraces you while you thrive in it....but the future is like a faint thought that you can't quite put into words, like a ghost the future is transparent and impossible to understand.

Reader, is it wrong that I miss the past so much that it hurts? I feel like my heart is on fire. The worst part is that I know I'm making the right decision. I know that I won't go back, because I know I shouldn't. Still, I never thought it would come to this. Past all the tears and screaming, I thought the outcome would be........I thought wrong. When I think about the factors as to why I feel this way, I am completely revolted with myself.

This is the last time I will write about this.
From now on Reader, we are moving on. Officially.