Meet me on calvary.

It's interesting to find oneself stuck on a journey that seems obsolete and ill fated. When you sincerely believe nothing will work out and it's all completely downhill from here...please, don't misunderstand me, I am not whining nor am I naive enough to think that my negativity is truth. It's not. Still, words, as small and meaningless as they can be, are also so powerful and dangerous.

I have found myself at a place, vacant and penetrating, that has brought to me this rushing feeling. A surge of....dejection? I mean, the words are above me and I can't reach them, but I'm sure it's familiar to many people. I talk a lot about progression, about change, and if there is one thing I do not want to be (again) is a hypocrite. I will rise above myself, above others expectations, above so-called "fate". My life, your life, is your own and nothing, not even unexplainable fear, can take that away from you.

Okay, I'm done with my lecture...go in peace.

Young Folks

What is it, that when you're young you have an insatiable desire for acceptance? I can't sit here and tell you I'm above it, because that would be a demon lie, but at least I recognize it...as if that means anything. Maybe it's not just young people, maybe it's society in general, either way it's stressful. I've found myself in a new light, a new world, much different and much faster then my previous planet.

When you're young, you're concerns lye in what your peers think of you, what you wear, who you talk to, what you do, where you go, how you talk..........this could take all day. Basically, you may be an individual and all that jazz, but you're under constant scrutiny and comparison. It's absolutely vicious and corrupt. I know your mentors will tell you to accept yourself, for who and what you are, but it's so hard to do when you don't know what that is. In this world of constant judgment and ignorance, that are often mixed together, you get lost and become a battered soul. Insecure is an understatement. We become frail and pliable, and gradually develop into broken and bitter. It's a heinous crime that we unknowingly afflict on each other, and it' will continue.

I would like to believe maturity and wisdom will sweep these absurd complications away, but somehow that seems unlikely.

The smell of memories.

I love the way autumn air smells, it's so clear and half-alive, reminds me of something....

Finally @ the wheel

*@(#*!&^#(*!&%$

First off, I would like to thank Vod @ Dat Blog for the suggestions of where to steer my blog :)
I'll start being more active, hopefully, and take note of the music I listen to ( which is usually the same thing over n' over).

I've learned to let go! Or at least partially. Making the past your past is harder to do then I expected, and it's bitterly painful. It seems like emotions emerge from the depths of you at the most unexpected and unwanted times. Now that I've really let go, or so I hope, I can see things for MYSELF. It's should be a beautiful future ahead of me, as long as I remember to do what's right for me above all else. I wanna breathe, I wanna make memories, I wanna be young, I wanna have fun. For once.

Let's see if I can start.

Fool's Gold

I'm releasing the all of my sour inhibitions, and shall emerge refreshed.

Focus.Focus.Focus.

5 Senses

Some things just never change, but somehow they feel so different.

Caution

It's like that saying, "to pour salt in my wounds". It applies to so much of life, but very especially to the two sides of the coin. Putting salt, although painful at first, aids in healing them faster...so does that apply to hearing or facing things in life that you would much rather avoid? Does everything really happen for a reason, or are we all falling recklessly to our impending doom? Am I being cynical or realistic?

We live in a seemingly apathetic world, but the truth is that everyone is so consumed with their own agenda that everything else seems inconsequential and futile. I myself am no exception, and when I think about it it only makes me even more disappointed. Falling in love, being beautiful, rich, fabulous, all those thing are fleeting and unsubstantial...yes, even falling in love. The most real immortality lay solely in your conscious, even if you can't hear it. Focus. Listen. The truth is a part of us all, just hidden. Now more then ever, we must all find our inner nirvana.