Your love is king.

Its interesting feeling to feel guilty about your feelings. You know? When the emotions you have are not the ones meant for the given circumstances or situation, but that's what makes raw emotion so invigorating. I know what people expect of me, but I wouldn't be myself if I didn't go left field...not out of spite of course, just shear indecisiveness. Good thing I have a sense of humor, otherwise I would have already lost it. If you know me well enough to spend actual time with me, you'll know that I have a horrible habit of spacing out. I can't control it and as hard as I try to hide it, its a very obvious occurrence. Forgive me in advance.

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Full to the tip, I am walking the thin line between sanity and the abyss. All of the thoughts fill my head, congesting my chest, suffocating my heart. Relative, are the words tumbling from my lips. What makes us young will be our pain when we're old. I find a clover, with no leaves, with no roots, underneath my pillow. Can we symbolize ourselves? I want to sink into you. Deeply. Completely. Until I no longer have eyes, until I no longer hear sound, until I decompose. When I find hell, I'll know that paradise exists. But this isn't hell. No. This is that place in the grocery store that no one really goes to. Where it's dusty and lonely, because the merchandise perched on the shelves is unfavorable and almost useless. Maybe I'll find you here, but I would more likely find you in the frozen food section. Steady is the ground underneath my feet. Heavy is the sky above me. I forgot why I came here.

I am weary of the world.

There are few things in your life worth remembering, that may not mean you won't remember the meaningless moments. Even the moments that seem to hold emotional value mean nothing. Nothing at all. One truth, one comment, one moment later, can shatter it all.
One might feel philosophically gifted and graced with peace of mind, but in actuality humans are lagging most in basic logic. You don't believe me? Look around you. Half of the issues in the world would fade had we been blessed with common sense during 'evolution'. You think not?

Tell a drug addict to stop doing drugs, he goes on to tell you that an addiction is a mental condition and he can't just stop. However, why the hell did he start in the first place? We've all seen the "Live Above the Influence" commercials. You might think that it's a lot more complicated than that, you may be sympathetic towards the addict for whatever reason. Nevertheless, let me remind you of the age old' mind over matter deal, it was a choice to become an addict and simple common sense could have altered it all.
Life is a general choice, every single breath, a choice, every morning you wake, a choice.
I wonder if I make people think, or if I just sound ridiculous reiterating what one may already be aware of....who cares, eh? This is my addiction, my philosophical therapy.